Gig Life

It has been almost 2 years since I last went to a gig. We use to go to so many but the reduced after we bought out first home and has now become a rare treat since having Audrey.

The last gig I went to was Conor Oberst at the Twilight Zoo in 2015. I was almost 13 weeks pregnant, sick as a dog and we'd just announce that we were having a baby earlier that day. I really shouldn't have gone but I didn't want to miss the chance to picnic in the zoo amongst the animals listening to Conor live.

The forecast said that it was going to rain that night so we were prepared with umbrellas and rain ponchos.

We arrived and got a nice spot on the grass with a few friends we were meeting there and other friends that we bumped into. We set ourselves up, got some drinks and hot food and for a moment I forgot that I had been soo sick for the last 7 weeks.

After the first performer played Conor comes up on stage. Honestly, I could count the number of songs he played on one hand before the lightening started and the clouds rolled in. The venue organisers told him that they had to cancel and send everyone home and Conor got up on stage and told us the bad news himself. He felt bad and wasn't happy about the whole thing.

We packed up all of our staff and started walking towards the exits. Not 2 minutes into our walk the storm hit. Everyone was saturated instantly. Running and screaming through the zoo we all tried to get out quickly. Umbrellas were breaking left and right... Only one of ours survived.

We jumped in the car and laughed sooo hard. What an experience!! How many people can say that has happened to them?!

That was one of the few times during my pregnancy where I actually forgot I was sick. It's one of my fondest pregnancy memories.

We had tickets to another gig during my pregnancy (which were purchased before I was pregnant) and I decided to sell my ticket because I knew that I wouldn't have survived it. I was going to be about 6 months pregnant at an all standing loud, rough, sold out gig. Even if I was feeling well I wouldn't have risked the crowd while pregnant.

So I haven't been to another gig since the zoo. After having Audrey I wasn't something that I wanted to do during her first year. I wanted to be home for her every night. But when The Front Bottoms announced that they were coming back to Melbourne, we decided to get tickets. Their show was the last gig that I got to attend in its entirety.

They are one of my favourite bands to see live and I'm excited to go out and have an Audrey-free night. To sing along with a sold out crowd who all love them as much as us.

PS: I don't care how many times I've shared this video on Facebook. It's one of my favs. It's also a song that Audrey loves because I use to sing it to her a nap time.

xx

Smorgy

Pin It

Grinding It Up

After some seriously painful nights of no sleep last week we established that I have started grinding my teeth due to stress. 

What could I possibly be stressed about?!

Oh I don't know, how about doing enough work for two full time staff while looking after an almost 6 month old. That's normal, right?!

Currently still in my pj's. Haven't gotten to shower or enjoy a minute of downtime when Audrey has napped because there is just too much work to do. Writing this is my downtime and it's purely to get out the frustration so that I can concentrate on work again.

Originally I thought the pain was coming from my tooth because I was meant to get a filling fixed last year but was pregnant and since having Audrey there has not been a spare moment to even think about booking in a dentist appointment.  But when I went to the dentist she informed me that it is not tooth pain at all. It's stress pain.

I've had two Osteo appointments to try and sort it out. Talk about painful! She put her fingers inside my mouth to work on muscles up between my lip and gums. It's given me some relief but the pain keeps coming back because the stress is still there.

I'm popping nurofen like candy and thats not giving me much relief. The Osteo suggested a muscle relaxant but when I have to look after Audrey it's just not an option. 

Audrey is now a fully qualified roller. Within 10 seconds she is under the coffee table or has managed to get a dog toy from the other side of the room. I am trying to stretch her bottles out to every 4 hours and in doing this she has decided to change her wake up time from 7.30-8am to 6am which really isn't helping when I'm barely sleeping because of the pain.

It is a horrible hot day and with Audrey's gums bothering her we have not had a great morning. I have so much I need to do for work but just can't find the minute to focus on it and get things done. 

BJ is now on his way home but it's going to be at least 1 1/2 hours before he gets here. Once he is home he gets to deal with a grumpy-mess of a wife for the evening. Like he has had to for every evening for the last few weeks. Lucky him!

Just got Audrey down for a nap which could last 30 minutes or 3 hours, so I say 'Fuck it!' I'm going to enjoy another maltesers block with my second can of coke for the day and I'm not going to feel guilty about it. I've fucken earnt them!

They were delicious. Time to attempt to get some more work done. 

xx

Smorgy

Pin It

One Year Ago Today

2015 started with mixed emotions. I was in the early stages of my pregnancy which was exciting and nerve racking. I was sick as a dog which left me with very little energy to be positive and an ongoing worry that something bad might happen.

One year ago today was one of my worse days of my pregnancy.I hadn't kept any food or liquids down in days, couldn't stand or lift my head and even when I laid perfectly still and didn't attempt to inject anything I was still vomiting constantly. To the point that there was just nothing but dry reaching and tearless cries.

This was the day that I went to the emergency room because I just didn't know what else to do and I couldn't suffer through the pain anymore.

Something I couldn't post about at the time because I was only 9 weeks pregnant.

At about 7.30pm, Mum drove me to Box Hill and we sat in the emergency waiting area for about 3 hours before they took me to a bed. In that 3 hours I had my blood pressure tested and was given some Zofran wafers to try and help me to stop vomiting.

As BJ didn't want the boys to be home alone he stayed with them and I kept him updated throughout the night via text (because I forgot to take a charger and had very little battery).

I was in the bed for at least an hour before I actually saw a nurse or doctor. When the nurse finally came in to insert my IV, it took her 6 attempts in my arms and hands because I was so dehydrated, my veins were nonexistent. She then called in the doctor and he got the IV in first go in the side of my wrist.

I was immediately black and blue from all the attempts, exhausted and starving. 4ltrs of fluids rang through the IV over the next 8 hours. Maxalon, Zofran and Panadol all consumed and one nurse actually went and found me something to eat at 2am when I finally felt like I could hold food down.

Whilst in the hospital bed all I could hear was the neighbouring patient talking with the doctors about her miscarriage. Not the best conversation to be hearing when you are only 9 weeks along, sick and scared about what's going to happen.

In the morning mum had to leave and head to work and not long after BJ showed up to sit with me until I could go home. But while I was there on my own all that raced through my head was 'am I able to do this?'. At this point we were crossing our fingers that by 12 weeks I'd start feeling better. (fat chance.)

It was about 12.30pm before I was discharged and we headed home to the boys who were eager to know where I'd been all night.

From that day I started a daily cocktail of Zofran wafers twice a day and Maxalon every 8 hours to make it possible for me to stomach food and liquids again. This continued right up until Audrey was born. In 7 months we spend over $1200 on the wafers alone.

This is a memory that is still very strong and one of the many reasons why I get so upset when people ask me 'when are you going back for more' or tell me 'you'll forget and have another'.

After getting to know Audrey these last 5 months I can say that I am glad I went through that 9 months of pain... But... it doesn't mean I'm interested in going through it all ever again.

Here is to feeling well in 2016.

xx
Smorgy


Pin It

Goodbye 2015

Well where do I begin...

This has been one crazy year. One year ago today I found out that I was pregnant after having some tests done a few days earlier as things just didn't seem right and the results were pregnancy and PCOS.

I announced the news to BJ while he was at work and that night we celebrated we brought in the new year, smiling about our little secret.

I then had two lovely weeks before the morning sickness started... and didn't stop for 8 whole months. My hyperemesis included the struggle to get out of bed or eat food, inability to stand in the shower, an overnight stay in the emergency room, Zofran wafers twice a day at $100 for 12 days worth and several trips to the doctors for Maxalon injections and repeat scripts.

By the end of my first trimester i had lost 10kg and got into a routine with my medication so that I was semi functional. I could get myself to work most days by 10.30am and could only stay on my feet for short periods of time. I could handle small meals and the only way to stomach water was for it to be ice cold and flavoured with cola cordial. Enormous amounts of ice was consumed throughout my pregnancy.

The announcement of our pregnancy happened at the end of February and Facebook went mental.

Before I had fallen pregnant (and knew I was going to be sick as anything for the entire thing) we bought tickets to go see Conor Oberst play a twilight show at the Melbourne Zoo and it took everything I had to get myself there only to have them cancel it 3 songs in due to a storm that was about to hit.

My year continued with lot's of medication, very little sleep, constant hips/back pain and then we found out the sex. A girl! A reminder about why i'm going through all this. Once again Facebook goes mental after a subtle gender reveal.

Amongst all this we sold our house and spent every free moment going to open homes to get a new place to live. Our sale was fantastic, finding a new place to live however was very time consuming and we had a lot of disappointment. Missing out on 3 properties and getting to the point that we almost had to rent as we were running out of time to find a place. Luckily we secured our new home and then the packing began. 

Appointment after appointment. Doctors, midwives, ultrasounds, osteo's... And then it was time to have my glucose tolerance test... and *Dramatic pause* I had gestational diabetes... Of course! 4 times a day I was having to test my blood sugar levels by pricking my finger and keep track of it all.

A couple of weeks after trying to manage my GD and being unsuccessful had me started on insulin. So on top of my 4 finger pricks a day I now had 3 needles in my tummy and EVEN more appointments. More doctors, more ultrasounds, more scripts and regular endo visits.

Our houses settle and we move into our new home while I was 8 months pregnant. Once we move in we find out that the previous owners didn't clean at all, the heater and evaporative cooling were not connected properly, no safety switch and there was a gas leak. So now I add even more appointments. Electrician, plumber, handyman. 

The last month of my pregnancy was weekly ultrasounds, monitoring and doctors/endo appointments and I get booked in to be induced. 

After a long and frustrating 24 hours in the hospital I was induced and Audrey J was brought into the world on the 5th September.. Within 4 hours! Crazy!! BJ and I were officially parents!

The moment Audrey was born I stopped feeling sick. It has been almost 4 months now and I am the lightest I've weighed in the last 8 years. It has been one hell of a roller coaster trying to find a balance between looking after Audrey and work. I barely took 6 days off when Audrey was born (still taking calls and answering emails in hospital) before I started working again (from home mostly). There have been a lot moments where I've just wanted to scream and cry when it comes to work let me tell you.

From 4 weeks Audrey was sleeping through the night. We had some hiccups with feeding and her first cold. She is now over 6kgs of pure cheekiness, giggling, grasping, rolling onto her back and the smile she gives me every time she see's me after her nap is just the best thing ever.

I also celebrated my 29th birthday and we had Audrey's first Christmas. It was soo fun to include her in our family christmas photo. I don't know how we are going to top it next year.

So although most of my year was a struggle to get through it is definitely ending on a high note. This year has taught me that I can do ANYTHING. That I am strong and determined and that nothing can stop me. 

And even though I will be reminding Audrey throughout her entire life about all the pain and suffering she put me through in those 9 months, I am so thankful for her and all that she has taught me already. 

Here's to a happy and healthy 2016.

xx

Smorgy

Pin It

38 Weeks... Who's Ready?!

Less then two weeks left and even with everything that's happened during this pregnancy... the constant nausea, the gestational diabetes, the insulin injections, I don't feel ready for it to be over just yet.

We are now playing the waiting game to see if she comes on her own or if the doctors decide to intervene. The not knowing is the worst bit.

I'm a very organised person. I like to be in control and know exactly what's going to happen. This is something that I have no control over and haven't had any control for the entire pregnancy.

The next stage is scary. I'm not worried about the labour, pain is easy. But after that, there is a baby and it's MY responsibility. I will be someone's mother... Shit!

Lately I've been thinking a lot about the last 8 1/2 months and everything that's happened.

I always thought that when I got pregnant I would stack on the weight. You know, blame it on the pregnancy cravings and just eat whatever i wanted. But it's been the opposite. I lost 10kgs in my first trimester which had me the lightest I've been for a long time and thanks to the diabetes I've had to be very careful with what i've eaten throughout the rest of the pregnancy.

I'm constantly being told that I'm very small. Which I'm quite happy about. I don't feel like I'm carrying around a watermelon in my top. I feel like (most of the time) I look pretty alright for someone who is so far along. But I am getting a lot of pain in the back of my ribs and shortness of breath when I sit down. So that's not fun.

I always hear stories about strangers going up to people while they are pregnant and ask them how far along they are or try to touch their tummies or giving their opinions. Strangers always seem interested in pregnant people but this was not the case with me... Thank goodness! I kept telling BJ that I must have a face that scares them away. I was looking forward to the moment when some stranger tried to touch my belly and I respond by touching THEIR belly but alas I don't think I will get a chance.

I have however had SOOO many people tell me their stories... They are either about issues and complications during their pregnancy OR they are about how great and easy their pregnancy was. Either way it's been super annoying and not something I've wanted to hear about.

I've had someone tell me about their horror birth where they nearly lost their baby and blame the hospital... which is of course the hospital I am going to and they knew this before starting the story. And then another person told me about an experience they had when they were a cop and had to deal with a pregnant woman who was hit by a car and died. Why do people insist on telling me these stories?!

This morning I woke up to find that BJ had finished painting in the nursery and moved the change table into their and hung a beautiful piece of artwork we received from a friend of ours. So today while he was at work I put the cot together and start organising things (Better late then never hey). I got the other artwork we have and framed it up ready to hang and the room is finally coming together.

There have been quite a few issues when it comes to my appointments. The doctor will say 'come back next week' but they'd be all booked up and I'd have to go on a waiting list and hope someone else goes into labour so that I'll get their appointment. This happened again this week and it's the most annoying one. Doctor wanted me back on Wednesday and mentioned booking me in to be induced Thursday or Friday if she hasn't come prior but they couldn't fit me in Wednesday so I'm booked in to the hospital on Friday morning and now I have no idea what's going to happen.

I have been misinformed and uninformed about a lot of  things throughout this pregnancy. So once she comes I will be happy to not have to deal with that anymore. I'm hoping to not have to be induced and I'm convinced that she will be a September baby. So I have at least 5 days to go hahaha.

Wish me luck

xx
Smorgy

Pin It