Grinding It Up

After some seriously painful nights of no sleep last week we established that I have started grinding my teeth due to stress. 

What could I possibly be stressed about?!

Oh I don't know, how about doing enough work for two full time staff while looking after an almost 6 month old. That's normal, right?!

Currently still in my pj's. Haven't gotten to shower or enjoy a minute of downtime when Audrey has napped because there is just too much work to do. Writing this is my downtime and it's purely to get out the frustration so that I can concentrate on work again.

Originally I thought the pain was coming from my tooth because I was meant to get a filling fixed last year but was pregnant and since having Audrey there has not been a spare moment to even think about booking in a dentist appointment.  But when I went to the dentist she informed me that it is not tooth pain at all. It's stress pain.

I've had two Osteo appointments to try and sort it out. Talk about painful! She put her fingers inside my mouth to work on muscles up between my lip and gums. It's given me some relief but the pain keeps coming back because the stress is still there.

I'm popping nurofen like candy and thats not giving me much relief. The Osteo suggested a muscle relaxant but when I have to look after Audrey it's just not an option. 

Audrey is now a fully qualified roller. Within 10 seconds she is under the coffee table or has managed to get a dog toy from the other side of the room. I am trying to stretch her bottles out to every 4 hours and in doing this she has decided to change her wake up time from 7.30-8am to 6am which really isn't helping when I'm barely sleeping because of the pain.

It is a horrible hot day and with Audrey's gums bothering her we have not had a great morning. I have so much I need to do for work but just can't find the minute to focus on it and get things done. 

BJ is now on his way home but it's going to be at least 1 1/2 hours before he gets here. Once he is home he gets to deal with a grumpy-mess of a wife for the evening. Like he has had to for every evening for the last few weeks. Lucky him!

Just got Audrey down for a nap which could last 30 minutes or 3 hours, so I say 'Fuck it!' I'm going to enjoy another maltesers block with my second can of coke for the day and I'm not going to feel guilty about it. I've fucken earnt them!

They were delicious. Time to attempt to get some more work done. 

xx

Smorgy

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1 more sleep

I've had two terrible nights sleep. I'm sure it's just stress and worry about Thursday. But now, There's only one sleep left and I think I'll actually sleep well.

It's a strange feeling... Moving out of home for the first time and last night is when it really hit us both hard... Really hard!

We've both never lived out of home before and BJ has actually never moved house (not even rooms) before. This is VERY new to us and obviously it is a BIG deal.

We will now be responsible for everything. Paying bills. Buying food. Cooking meals. Maintaining the yard.

The bigness of it all, i don't think will truly hit us for a few weeks. Once we've actually stopped unpacking and people aren't coming by so often to help us... Then it'll hit us.

We will actually be adults!

I've cried most of last night and I can't really tell you why... I don't really know.
I think it's just an array of emotions; happiness, sadness, worried, stressed. All built up to the brim and needing to escape.

I'm soo excited to be moving out. Having my own place. Most importantly I'm just excited that finally i'll be with BJ every day. That's been the hardest part of our relationship. Not seeing each other as often as we'd like. After traveling for 6 months and spending every day together and relying on each other it was hard to go back to our separate homes. It's been 3 years since then... A long time.

But next to the excitement I'm feeling very anxious about everything that's about to happen. Worrying about what COULD go wrong. What IF this happens.

I mean BJ knows of my craziness... But living with me 24/7 is a whole new percolator of fish and I just don't know that he's truly ready for that level of craziness.

I'm currently lying on my bed which is a mattress on the floor. My room has been gutted and very little remains in here.

Today my list of things to do was a mile long. I had to finish packing, do running around for settlement, sort our the plans for Thursday... And soo much more.

I actually have to go into work tomorrow (Thursday) morning for about an hour to do a couple of important jobs... One's I hope I don't fuck up because my brain will not 100% there.
At 2.30pm we will recieve a call and then... We can go get OUR keys!

And with that, I'm going to try and get some sleep. Right this minute it's 15 hours and 7 minutes till settlement.. Till it's ours!!

xx
Smorgy

*I started this blog last night which is why when you see it it might be labeled '2 more sleeps'. Tonight i re-wrote it and of course forgot the change the heading... Well done Smorgy Pin It