38 Weeks... Who's Ready?!

Less then two weeks left and even with everything that's happened during this pregnancy... the constant nausea, the gestational diabetes, the insulin injections, I don't feel ready for it to be over just yet.

We are now playing the waiting game to see if she comes on her own or if the doctors decide to intervene. The not knowing is the worst bit.

I'm a very organised person. I like to be in control and know exactly what's going to happen. This is something that I have no control over and haven't had any control for the entire pregnancy.

The next stage is scary. I'm not worried about the labour, pain is easy. But after that, there is a baby and it's MY responsibility. I will be someone's mother... Shit!

Lately I've been thinking a lot about the last 8 1/2 months and everything that's happened.

I always thought that when I got pregnant I would stack on the weight. You know, blame it on the pregnancy cravings and just eat whatever i wanted. But it's been the opposite. I lost 10kgs in my first trimester which had me the lightest I've been for a long time and thanks to the diabetes I've had to be very careful with what i've eaten throughout the rest of the pregnancy.

I'm constantly being told that I'm very small. Which I'm quite happy about. I don't feel like I'm carrying around a watermelon in my top. I feel like (most of the time) I look pretty alright for someone who is so far along. But I am getting a lot of pain in the back of my ribs and shortness of breath when I sit down. So that's not fun.

I always hear stories about strangers going up to people while they are pregnant and ask them how far along they are or try to touch their tummies or giving their opinions. Strangers always seem interested in pregnant people but this was not the case with me... Thank goodness! I kept telling BJ that I must have a face that scares them away. I was looking forward to the moment when some stranger tried to touch my belly and I respond by touching THEIR belly but alas I don't think I will get a chance.

I have however had SOOO many people tell me their stories... They are either about issues and complications during their pregnancy OR they are about how great and easy their pregnancy was. Either way it's been super annoying and not something I've wanted to hear about.

I've had someone tell me about their horror birth where they nearly lost their baby and blame the hospital... which is of course the hospital I am going to and they knew this before starting the story. And then another person told me about an experience they had when they were a cop and had to deal with a pregnant woman who was hit by a car and died. Why do people insist on telling me these stories?!

This morning I woke up to find that BJ had finished painting in the nursery and moved the change table into their and hung a beautiful piece of artwork we received from a friend of ours. So today while he was at work I put the cot together and start organising things (Better late then never hey). I got the other artwork we have and framed it up ready to hang and the room is finally coming together.

There have been quite a few issues when it comes to my appointments. The doctor will say 'come back next week' but they'd be all booked up and I'd have to go on a waiting list and hope someone else goes into labour so that I'll get their appointment. This happened again this week and it's the most annoying one. Doctor wanted me back on Wednesday and mentioned booking me in to be induced Thursday or Friday if she hasn't come prior but they couldn't fit me in Wednesday so I'm booked in to the hospital on Friday morning and now I have no idea what's going to happen.

I have been misinformed and uninformed about a lot of  things throughout this pregnancy. So once she comes I will be happy to not have to deal with that anymore. I'm hoping to not have to be induced and I'm convinced that she will be a September baby. So I have at least 5 days to go hahaha.

Wish me luck

xx
Smorgy

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That's NOT All Folks

I had a follow up appointment with the diabetes ladies at the hospital this week to check how my glucose levels were going. I am on a medication that causes high blood sugar and so my levels have not been great and they decided to put me on insulin to help get my levels under control.

So now I am taking two types of insulin three times a day. Fun times!

We are hoping that in a couple of weeks when I stop taking this other medication, that I might be able to stop the insulin also but we will have to wait and see.

I take two doses of a fast acting insulin right before lunch and dinner, which is a fancy looking pen, and then a slow acting one at bedtime which looks like an egg time from the 80's.

I feel like a bit of a pin cushion at the moment with four blood tests and three injections daily. I am having to time and monitor soo much that it's like i'm not getting anything else done during the day.

I expected that they would put me on insulin when I went back. Nothing in this pregnancy has been easy and I could see by my levels that just diet and exercise weren't going to be enough to keep things under control.

They showed me what I needed to do each time and I was ok with everything until the moment they handed me 2 pens, 14 needles and a heap of paperwork/information... That's when it all sunk in and the tears started.

I had my moment then I got my shit together and headed back to work. The first injection was right before dinner. BJ got home and we served up our plates. I have to eat immediately after because it's a fast acting insulin. Once my plate was ready I prepared my pen and went to injection myself in the tummy. But I couldn't do it. Panic set in and the tears began again. I felt so bad for BJ having to watch me as I know it couldn't have been easy.

He offered to do it for me but I wiped away the tears and went for it and you know what... It wasn't that bad. I think the blood test needles hurt way more then the insulin. That made me feel a little better about it all.

I am frustrated about the whole thing but at the same time this is going to help make me healthy and in turn keep my baby girl safe. It's just a lot to take in. I keep feeling like the worst has happened and things should start to get better from here and THEN something new arises.

I am so over appointments but with 10 weeks to go I still have quiet a few to get through. At least with the insulin the hospital will call and monitor me over the phone every couple of days and adjust my insulin accordingly. I have a follow up in 2 weeks and also an ultrasound to check the babies growth and make sure everything is alright. Crossing my fingers that we can get this under control.

I tell you what though, after all this if her first word is 'Dada' i'm going to be really pissed off!!

My bag of goodies

xx

Smorgy

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