What Are You Doing To Me Kid?

Today Audrey woke up in the best mood... At 3 fucken AM.

I however, was not in a good mood. I'd been awake for an hour and a half with my jaw pain and was not mentally or physically ready for her to wake like that.

With all the pain and suffering Audrey put me through for the nine months she was growing inside me Audrey has made it back to me by being a good sleeper.

From 5 weeks old she was sleeping through the night. Occasionally she would want a feed around 3.30-4am but most nights she didn't wake till 6am.

For the last month she has slept till 8am most mornings, which is amazing and then will often go down for her first nap within an hour of waking which gives me time to have a shower and get some work done before she wakes again.

But last night she decided to wake... and she was WIDE awake!

Normally if she wakes during the night she will stir for a little bit to warn me and give me time to warm a bottle. But that was not the case last night. She just flipped onto her front and started talking away.

I don't want to sound like I'm complaining because I know many mums have to deal with babies who don't sleep well, have to get up several times at night for feeds, but when your body gets used to not having to do these things it really throws you out of whack when it happens.

For most of 2015 I slept terribly. Whilst pregnant I was too nauseous to sleep. As the months went on my back and hips ached constantly and I had terrible reflux. I could never get comfortable and then the first month of Audrey's life she would wake every 3 hours to feed. So I kind of feel like I earned a good sleeper. But where has she gone?

I seriously lost my shit this morning. There was lots and lots of silent screaming while the kettle boiled. BJ offered to feed her, which just made me feel even worse because he had to be up in 2 hours for work and hasn't been sleeping great lately.

I had my cry, gave Audrey her bottle and settled her back to sleep. After which I was still wide awake and in pain. I have no idea what time I finally fell asleep but I felt a lot better when I next woke.

#mumlife

xx
Smorgy

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Grinding It Up

After some seriously painful nights of no sleep last week we established that I have started grinding my teeth due to stress. 

What could I possibly be stressed about?!

Oh I don't know, how about doing enough work for two full time staff while looking after an almost 6 month old. That's normal, right?!

Currently still in my pj's. Haven't gotten to shower or enjoy a minute of downtime when Audrey has napped because there is just too much work to do. Writing this is my downtime and it's purely to get out the frustration so that I can concentrate on work again.

Originally I thought the pain was coming from my tooth because I was meant to get a filling fixed last year but was pregnant and since having Audrey there has not been a spare moment to even think about booking in a dentist appointment.  But when I went to the dentist she informed me that it is not tooth pain at all. It's stress pain.

I've had two Osteo appointments to try and sort it out. Talk about painful! She put her fingers inside my mouth to work on muscles up between my lip and gums. It's given me some relief but the pain keeps coming back because the stress is still there.

I'm popping nurofen like candy and thats not giving me much relief. The Osteo suggested a muscle relaxant but when I have to look after Audrey it's just not an option. 

Audrey is now a fully qualified roller. Within 10 seconds she is under the coffee table or has managed to get a dog toy from the other side of the room. I am trying to stretch her bottles out to every 4 hours and in doing this she has decided to change her wake up time from 7.30-8am to 6am which really isn't helping when I'm barely sleeping because of the pain.

It is a horrible hot day and with Audrey's gums bothering her we have not had a great morning. I have so much I need to do for work but just can't find the minute to focus on it and get things done. 

BJ is now on his way home but it's going to be at least 1 1/2 hours before he gets here. Once he is home he gets to deal with a grumpy-mess of a wife for the evening. Like he has had to for every evening for the last few weeks. Lucky him!

Just got Audrey down for a nap which could last 30 minutes or 3 hours, so I say 'Fuck it!' I'm going to enjoy another maltesers block with my second can of coke for the day and I'm not going to feel guilty about it. I've fucken earnt them!

They were delicious. Time to attempt to get some more work done. 

xx

Smorgy

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Where has the last month gone?!

One month ago I did something incredible. I pushed a thing the size of a watermelon out of my body and welcomed my daughter Audrey J into the world.

I was booked in to be induced on the Friday morning but that didn't quite go to plan. We were up from 5am and instructed to call the hospital before coming in. Due to a shortness of staff we were delayed and weren't told to come in until 10.30am. We sat around waiting at the hospital until we were finally moved to a birthing suite at 1.30pm and from then we were told almost every hour that 'it should happen soon'. At about 7pm they tagged me and told me that it may not happen that day but that they won't send me home.

5am Saturday morning they walked in... 'Oh your awake... Good! We are about to start'.

FINALLY!!!

By this point there had been several changeovers in staff and we were soo over the hospital.

At 5.10am they broke my waters and started my drips. Because I was induced they had to keep me hooked up to a monitor to keep an eye on the baby and make sure she was doing ok. This made it difficult for me to move around and I wasn't able to use the shower or bath at all.

My nausea was extreme that morning and once the contractions started it only got worse. The midwife offered me some gas for the pain. I didn't think I would like it but I gave it a go. Mostly because I knew BJ wanted to try it. You are meant to breathe in and out of the tube when your contractions start, to relieve the pain. As soon as I started breathing it in, I felt hazy and struggled to open my eyes. It didn't help with the pain, just made me feel weird so I stopped using it.

By 7am my contractions had started and they were not pleasant at all. BJ was so great helping me through each one. When it got to about 9.30am the midwife suggested I get up and move around a bit to move things along faster but because of the IV and the monitors that wasn't going to be easy so instead I hopped on an exercise ball by the bed and started to rock.

I started to feel a serious need to push and the noises coming out of me were not very lady-like. The midwife was assuring me that there was no way I was ready to push, 'It was too early still'. This was devastating to me as I was exhausted already and couldn't imagine continuing like this for hours more. But she decided to pop me up on the bed and see where things were at, that's when we discovered that I was well and truly ready to squeeze this baby out.

They prepared what they need and I asked if I should push. The midwife responded with 'do whatever feels right'. Which I didn't find helpful at all. Moments before my next contraction was due to start I turned to BJ and whispered to him 'I don't want to shit the bed!'. He laughed and then I started to push.

I experienced the most painful thing I'd ever experienced. Within 20 minutes, her head was out and she started crying. One more push and out came the rest of her. At 10.08am a slimy blob was placed on my chest and an overwhelming feeling came over me.. I did it!

A 4 hour labour. Audrey had no interest in taking things slow.

It has been a month but feels like only yesterday. I have made so many notes of things I wanted to write about and hopefully soon I will find some time to do some more posts. But right now I have to feed my little girl... Holy cow! I have a kid!!

xx
Smorgy

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