Sunday, March 18, 2018

7 Years. 6 Months. 12 Kilos.

It's not that I haven't written anything in awhile its more that I just haven't been able to complete any of the posts I started writing. 

The last few months have been fucking insane!! Crazy!! Lot's of highs!


It's been nearly 5 years since I wore it and just as long since I last looked at it. Last night I whipped that bad boy out and threw it on. I couldn't zip it up myself which had me feeling a little disappointed but then BJ swooped in and saved the day. 


I haven't posted anything in the last 6 months, but SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED!!!


Since my last post, we went on our first family holiday. A week in Loch Sport, just the 3 of us and it was perfect. A chance to get away from it all and relax a little which is something I don't get to do often as I'm always working.

BJ quit his job of 7 years which he hated AND we started our own business! 

There have being some lows over the last 6 months too but I'm really trying to focus on the highs and keep a positive headspace.

2017 was a life changing year! We have taken a massive risk with BJ quitting his job and putting everything we have into starting a business and that's put a lot of added stress onto our lives. There has been lots of long hours, sleepless nights and very little family time but we are making it work. Doing everything we can to succeed and really build a better future for ourselves.

2017 was also the year and I decided to finally pull my finger out and be healthier. 

When I was pregnant with Audrey I was sooo sick that I lost an enormous amount of weight over the 9 months. I couldn't eat most things, I went to hospital at one point because I couldn't keep anything down and so after giving birth I went a little silly. After 9 months of not being able to enjoy all the foods I loved, I splurged a lot and that I managed to gain the weight back pretty damn quick. 

I got to a point that I was miserable. I hated looking in the mirror. Hating all my clothes and just wanting to hide all day in my hoodie and trackies. I kept going to kmart and just buy their $8 relaxed tees, a little bigger each time to hide my shame.

I finally made the decision to get healthy. I got on a strict meal plan, cut out 90% of my sugar intake and put a total ban on fast food. Apart from my clinical pilates class I didn't really commit to any exercise. I work two full time jobs and have a 2 1/2 year old so finding time to exercise is not easy and I didn't want to send my body into shock with too much change all at once. But in 12 months I've lost over 12kg!!

This week I had an urge to try on my wedding dress. Curious to see if it would fit.

It fit!! Perfectly!! It's a miracle!!

In the last 5 years soo much has changed. My body is completely different. I've had a kid! Things aren't where they used to be. But it still fits!

I was really excited that it fit and even more excited that when I had it on and I looked in the mirror I thought to myself 'If I was to get married right now, I would pick the same dress'. 

There are lots of things I'd change about my wedding day, but my dress definitely isn't one of them and that makes me really happy.

But the best part about trying my dress on, was seeing the look on BJ's face. I could see straight into his heart. I don't think he's ever looked at me like that. With THAT much love in his eyes.

I think I might try it on again in 5 years and see how it fits then.



This year I have some goals that I hope to achieve both personally and for the business.

I want to bake more - for myself and other people.

Continue working towards my weight goal.

Grow our business and really make it something amazing.

and make BJ and my relationship EVEN stronger.

We are 3 months into 2018 and things can only get better from here!!!

xx




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Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Audrey's 2nd Birthday!

How the hell is she two already?!

We had a fun afternoon on Sunday celebrating Audrey's birthday with friends and family (and Uncle Slick Bone). Audrey is obsessed with rainbows and believes in marriage equality, so we thought a colourful party would be perfect.

I love a good party theme and enjoy any opportunity to get creative.

I almost gave up on making the rainbow balloon for the wall because it was absolute hell to put assemble and used up all my tape to keep it together but I'm so glad it was a success in the end as it was perfect for photos.

This was the first rainbow layer cake that I've attempted and I'm soo happy with how it turned out in the end. It wasn't perfect but it was pretty damn good... and tasted delicious!!

As well as the cake I made some really cute hand piped gingerbread cookies, rainbow jelly, meringues, super cute fairy bread and lots of other tasty, sugary treats.

I also made the adorable little scalloped popcorn boxes, the flamingos party hats AND a giant lollipop piñata. Because what two year old doesn't want a piñata?!

In those two hours Audrey had more sugar then she's had in her two years of life and she handled the sugar crash really well.

I can't wait till next year when I ask her what kind of birthday party she wants to have and she tells me a theme.



#Voteyes


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Monday, August 28, 2017

Four

What I like about our anniversary is that it's just for us. It's not a family event and it's not about Audrey... We can do whatever we want, or we can do nothing.

I had to count it out but this year is 12 years together, 4 years married. You'd think I'd be able to remember that off the top of my head but really it's not something that's important to us. We know we've been together for a long fucking time so the exact number of years really doesn't matter.

BJ and I aren't your typical couple. We don't buy Anniversary presents, spend lots of money or go away for the weekend. We might go out to dinner or have takeaway but that's about it. I wouldn't care if I was cooking dinner, as long as it was just us (and now Audrey) hanging out together.

This year our Anniversary was pre-celebrated days earlier. When I say 'pre-celebrated' I mean we went out to lunch while BJ was off work sick and while at lunch I said 'This can be for our Anniversary!'.

We went to The Smokery in Lilydale for some delicious smoked meat. I highly recommend it. It was fucking delicious!

Now as some of you know BJ and my wedding Anniversary shares the same date as the day we started going out. And since our wedding each year BJ has created a 'mixed tape' for our Anniversary and we take an annual photo for the cover.

This years one has fallen a bit between the cracks with soo much other stuff going on this year so I only got it yesterday but like all the others, I love it!




A 1000 Times - Hamilton Leithauser + Rostam
Upon A Hill - Foxygen
Wedding in Finistere - Jens Lekman
City Music - Kevin Morby
One More Lone Song - Mac DeMarco
Wild Once - Laura Marling
Kids In The Street - Justin Townes Earle
Love Is All - The Tallest Man On Earth
Mamah Borthwick (A Sketch) - Conor Oberst
Could Never Be Heaven - Brand New
Paradise - John Prine

If you want to check out our previous playlists you can find them here



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Sunday, June 4, 2017

Zoo Adventure


I have been planning this trip to the zoo for a while. We've had to reschedule a few times due to everyone getting sick, but FINALLY this weekend we got there. 

BJ and I have had a busy couple of days, so the early start Saturday morning was not ideal but we wanted to get in there early. 

On the way we picked up my niece, Kaia who has just celebrated her 11th birthday and into the city we went. 

It is such a short drive to get to the zoo now, not like when we were little. 

First thing we did when we got in was get the camera out, only to find that the battery didn't charge. I was sooo disappointed! I'd plugged it in the night before and left it to charge till morning. What the hell man?!

I very quickly got over that when I saw a sign that said 'free ranging lemurs'..... yes please!!!!

It was soo cool to see them up close and roaming wherever they pleased. They had these cute little huts and when you looked inside you would just see a massive pile of them all balled up together sleeping.

From there the day only got better. Audrey finally got to see a hippo, which is the animal she was talking about for the whole drive. It was a little bit of a let down because he has his butt to us and she couldn't see what it was. But that's ok because she got to see sooo many other cool animals. 

Watching her face when she finally spots one in their enclosure was the best. 

The animals were out to put on a show. The tiger came right up to the glass, the orangutans were playing peek-a-boo, the elephant was playing with his ball and the tapirs were doing whatever tapirs do.

There were only a few that couldn't be spotted in their enclosure.

Through all the monkey enclosures Audrey would wave at each monkey and say 'helllooo' then kiss the glass every time she saw one. It was soo entertaining (and quite unhygienic)

We went around a corner and there was this weird lady parked in front of a window watching the spider monkeys. I got really excited because one was albino and I said 'look Audrey that one is white' and the lady responds 'That's the female!!' 

I smiled and continued my conversation with Audrey. 'Wow, look! What's that one eating, Audrey?' And the lady replies 'He WAS eating corn before!!!'

I named that lady 'The Queen of the Zoo'. (We saw her several times that day.)

The highlight of the day was watching Audrey's reaction to the seals and the stingrays. She loves watching them swim around and when we went above ground one of the seals jumped out of the water and she thought it was the greatest thing ever!!!

In the butterfly enclosure I FINALLY had a butterfly land on me, but BJ wasn't fast enough with his camera to get a photo.

Audrey did soo much walking.... and eating. She was really good and only had a few moments where she lost it, mostly because she was exhausted. 

While we were at the giant tortoises, one of the tortoises started climbing on the other. It was standing up on the side of the tortoise which looks really funny. This strange woman comes up with her kids (who were maybe a little older than Audrey) and starts telling them about how 'When Charles Darwin first saw a giant tortoise he thought he could ride them'... then she looked up and saw the tortoise climbing up on the other one and in the same breath says 'oh and that tortoise is climbing on top of the other tortoise!! Let's go kids!!' 

I thought she was joking and I laughed sooo hard... but no, she was serious which made me laugh even harder and she did not appreciate that. 

She walked off in a hurry while the kids cried about not getting to see the tortoise. 

I probably shouldn't have laughed at her but it was just too funny. I mean it's a tortoise, they aren't the fastest animals so even if it was climbing up to get it's mate on, that wasn't going to happen for a loooooooooooooooooooooooong time.
 
So I named that lady 'The Prude of the Zoo'.

7 years ago we took Kaia to the zoo. She was nearly 4 at the time and it was fun to go back with her and remember all the things we did that day. The best memory of that trip was that Kaia was a map nazi. No one else was allowed to touch or even look at the map. She was sooo interested in the map that she didn't pay attention to the animals and eventually we had to make the map disappear.

We decide to re-take a couple of photos from that trip with Kaia and I just love them.

At the end of our adventure we went into the gift shop to let Audrey pick a toy. We walked out with a hippo and a tapir toy and she's spent the rest of the weekend feeding them and telling Gordon & Cooper that they are hers. 

It was such a fun day and I can't wait to do it again. Next time we plan to go to Werribee Open Range Zoo.  


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Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Welcome to Twin Peaks

This is what BJ posted yesterday before we started watching the revived new season of Twin Peaks.


In 2001, I was thirteen and had gone on the weekly trip to the video shop with Dad to hire out that weekends movies, Dad usually got a couple of new releases and I'd hire about seven weeklies.
On the shelf, I saw a shitload of VHS spines staring out at me, a forest, a girls head and the words TWIN PEAKS. I read the label and learned it was a TV series, I had nothing else to do, so I hired five tapes. That weekend, much to my fathers annoyance, we made several trips to the video shop as I chewed through tape after tape. Devouring the entire series (and an R rated movie, still not sure why dad allowed that) in a weekend.
When we had a kid, we decided to name her Audrey, an ode to our favourite character.
This obsession runs weirdly deep.
Nothing has had such an impact on me before or since.
See you in the trees.

In 2008, Megan and I plotted an entire six month trip around attending the Twin Peaks festival in Snoqualmie. I'd shared my love of Twin Peaks and we'd both become fanatics.
We returned home and bought a chihuahua, we named him Special Agent Dale Cooper. A few years later we bought another chihuahua and named him FBI Regional Bureau Chief Gordon Cole.
There is nothing like the world of Twin Peaks, from the absurdist humour, the bizarre characters, the stark imagery, all the while maintaining a menacing, seething, ululating terror that frightens the shit out of me.
I haven't waited 25 years as a lot of people have, but I've been waiting for 16 years for tonight. I can't wait to see where this goes.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We have such a love for this show. It was so exciting to see it return to the screen last night and it did not disappoint. 

We celebrated the way we do for any show we love that has a revival or series finale... with a viewing party that includes lots of themed decorations, treats and often outfits. 

For Twin Peaks we had lots of pictures of Bob lurking around the house, delicious pies, coffee as black as midnight on a moonless night, a donut display that would impress Lucy & of course, a damn fine looking log cake. 


P.S: If you don't understand that last photo or the log cake, then you aren't fans of the show and are missing out... seriously! Go watch it already!!


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Thursday, May 18, 2017

Help Needed!

I am not one to ask for help. 

I don't like being let down and I would rather figure things out myself and make it work somehow then ask for help and be disappointed. 

It's happened too many times to count and it just makes everything worse.

I have been sick for the last 2 months. I've had four courses of antibiotic, multiple appointments and I've hit so many walls through that time. I've struggled with trying to work full time, be a mother, keep my house clean, organise/plan our bathroom renovation, all while attempting to make time for myself to rest and get better without feeling guilty or pressured.

This week my doctor sent me to get a chest x-ray to make sure nothing was being missed and I just found out it's come back clear. They swabbed my throat and confirmed that i have a respiratory virus and my only option is to just wait it out. 

I just have to deal with feeling like shit until I don't feel shitty anymore. And somehow I still have to keep on top of everything else when all I want to do is lie in bed.

Yesterday I hit another wall...hard! 

I was done! I wanted to quit my job, crawl up in my bed with a block of chocolate and cry forever. And in that moment I asked BJ for help.

Today he was able to work from home which allowed me to have some support with Audrey and lifted the weight off my shoulders a bit.

Audrey was so excited to have him home today. She didn't want me to do anything. BJ had to change the nappies, get her food and work whilst she sat on his lap. He got a little glimpse of what it's like for me every day. 

People often respond with 'You're lucky!' when I tell them I work from home. But what they don't realised is that it means I never get to 'leave work'. I live at my work. And i'm expected to drop everything when something needs to be done. 

I wonder if work is the reason why i'm so sick. 





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