2017 Is Here

Facebook has been overflowing with people wishing 2016 would fuck off and now it has.... thanks to a wonderful thing called time.

2016 had a lot of highs and lows for everyone.

In 2016 we celebrated Audrey's 1st birthday. Something I still haven't blogged about because I'm super slack. Audrey's birthday gave me an excuse to get creative. I worked on my baking skills and did things I've never done before with icing. I had a lot of fun (though it was stressful at times) planning and preparing for her fiesta.

Audrey also had lots of development milestones including walking, first words and first shit in the bath. I turned 30 which I don't think is all that exciting but other people seem to think so.

Both BJ and I had a lot of work stress that weighed us down and took it toll. BJ also had a car accident and we ALL got gastro... fun times!!

But I decided the first week into 2017 that 2017 of the year for me!

This year I'm making time for me, doing things for me, and putting myself first a bit more.

As of February Audrey will be going to child care 3 days a week. I'm separating work days and 'mum' days. As 2016 went on and Audrey grew I found it harder and harder to juggle everything and my mental state at times were pretty bad. I didn't have a way to escape. The decision to send her to childcare for three days a week was not easy for me. It involved a pro's and con's list and a lot of tears.

At first, I felt like I was being selfish, I was a bad mum. But then I realised that it will make me a better mum. Because on the days that she is home I will actually take off my work hat and just be a mum, which is something I've not been able to do since she was born. I've always had to just wear all the hats and hope they don't fall.

In my days without Audrey, I am going to make some time for me. Not just for appointments or food shopping but to do things that make me happy like bake and craft.

I generally don't bother setting goals for a year because I find they never get achieved but this year I've decided to do a few monthly challenges starting this month we a 30-day challenge to learn the techniques needed to be able to do calligraphy. I'm on day two (because I started late) and I love that I have something that requires me to shut my brain off, put down my phone, look away from screens, grab a pen and just go for it.

I've also decided that I'm going to look after myself physically, not just mentally. I'm going to spend more time strengthing my core to reduce my constant back problems which will again help me to become a better mum.

Some other things I would like to achieve this year are more family adventures and a little family holiday somewhere. I'm also going to push BJ a little more to look after himself and take some time to spend with his mates and write more often.

I would love to say that Fork This is going to get back to its regular weekly postings but honestly, it's just one of those things that got a little too hard. The episodes will hopefully continue to be uploaded as often as we can.

I'm also looking forward to blogging more frequently. I enjoy doing this. I do it for me. I honestly don't think anyone really reads it or cares but it makes me feel good so I'm going to keep doing it until I don't enjoy it anymore.

xx
Smorgy

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Goodbye 2015

Well where do I begin...

This has been one crazy year. One year ago today I found out that I was pregnant after having some tests done a few days earlier as things just didn't seem right and the results were pregnancy and PCOS.

I announced the news to BJ while he was at work and that night we celebrated we brought in the new year, smiling about our little secret.

I then had two lovely weeks before the morning sickness started... and didn't stop for 8 whole months. My hyperemesis included the struggle to get out of bed or eat food, inability to stand in the shower, an overnight stay in the emergency room, Zofran wafers twice a day at $100 for 12 days worth and several trips to the doctors for Maxalon injections and repeat scripts.

By the end of my first trimester i had lost 10kg and got into a routine with my medication so that I was semi functional. I could get myself to work most days by 10.30am and could only stay on my feet for short periods of time. I could handle small meals and the only way to stomach water was for it to be ice cold and flavoured with cola cordial. Enormous amounts of ice was consumed throughout my pregnancy.

The announcement of our pregnancy happened at the end of February and Facebook went mental.

Before I had fallen pregnant (and knew I was going to be sick as anything for the entire thing) we bought tickets to go see Conor Oberst play a twilight show at the Melbourne Zoo and it took everything I had to get myself there only to have them cancel it 3 songs in due to a storm that was about to hit.

My year continued with lot's of medication, very little sleep, constant hips/back pain and then we found out the sex. A girl! A reminder about why i'm going through all this. Once again Facebook goes mental after a subtle gender reveal.

Amongst all this we sold our house and spent every free moment going to open homes to get a new place to live. Our sale was fantastic, finding a new place to live however was very time consuming and we had a lot of disappointment. Missing out on 3 properties and getting to the point that we almost had to rent as we were running out of time to find a place. Luckily we secured our new home and then the packing began. 

Appointment after appointment. Doctors, midwives, ultrasounds, osteo's... And then it was time to have my glucose tolerance test... and *Dramatic pause* I had gestational diabetes... Of course! 4 times a day I was having to test my blood sugar levels by pricking my finger and keep track of it all.

A couple of weeks after trying to manage my GD and being unsuccessful had me started on insulin. So on top of my 4 finger pricks a day I now had 3 needles in my tummy and EVEN more appointments. More doctors, more ultrasounds, more scripts and regular endo visits.

Our houses settle and we move into our new home while I was 8 months pregnant. Once we move in we find out that the previous owners didn't clean at all, the heater and evaporative cooling were not connected properly, no safety switch and there was a gas leak. So now I add even more appointments. Electrician, plumber, handyman. 

The last month of my pregnancy was weekly ultrasounds, monitoring and doctors/endo appointments and I get booked in to be induced. 

After a long and frustrating 24 hours in the hospital I was induced and Audrey J was brought into the world on the 5th September.. Within 4 hours! Crazy!! BJ and I were officially parents!

The moment Audrey was born I stopped feeling sick. It has been almost 4 months now and I am the lightest I've weighed in the last 8 years. It has been one hell of a roller coaster trying to find a balance between looking after Audrey and work. I barely took 6 days off when Audrey was born (still taking calls and answering emails in hospital) before I started working again (from home mostly). There have been a lot moments where I've just wanted to scream and cry when it comes to work let me tell you.

From 4 weeks Audrey was sleeping through the night. We had some hiccups with feeding and her first cold. She is now over 6kgs of pure cheekiness, giggling, grasping, rolling onto her back and the smile she gives me every time she see's me after her nap is just the best thing ever.

I also celebrated my 29th birthday and we had Audrey's first Christmas. It was soo fun to include her in our family christmas photo. I don't know how we are going to top it next year.

So although most of my year was a struggle to get through it is definitely ending on a high note. This year has taught me that I can do ANYTHING. That I am strong and determined and that nothing can stop me. 

And even though I will be reminding Audrey throughout her entire life about all the pain and suffering she put me through in those 9 months, I am so thankful for her and all that she has taught me already. 

Here's to a happy and healthy 2016.

xx

Smorgy

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