Head Above Water

It's been 2 months since Audrey was born and I'm starting to feel like I've got a hang of this 'mum' thing.

In that first month i lost myself a bit. No making any time for me. When I had a break while she was napping it was mostly spent working

I've started quiet a few posts since she's been born but just haven't been in the right head space to work on them and get them right but I am hoping soon I will be able to post more. I want to document what's been going on in my life since Audrey joined us.

Over the last 2 months our world has changed. Not just for me and BJ but for our boys Gordon and Cooper. They have been so great with Audrey and I'm so proud of them.

BJ has now been back at work for a few weeks and since he went back it has given Audrey and I a chance to develop a routine. I've got a great system going with getting her down for her naps, keeping bottles clean and sterilised, getting the washing done and making sure I sit down and have a lunch break every day. I've gotten on top of my work (mostly) and I've even had a few adventures out of the house, just me and Audrey.

I've learnt very quickly that you need to add even more time then you excepted to get everyone ready and out of the house on time, that people have no respect for prams at the shops and even though there is a million things that need to be done, sometimes I just need to sit down with some chocolate and the tv and unwind.

She is a pretty cool kid and surprises me every day with how much she is learning and growing. And boy is she growing!

xx
Smorgy

Look at her cheeky face

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Making Friends

I never use to have a problem making friends (I dont think) but these days, it's just work, work, work and since I'm in a small office with few staff i dont really have the opportunity to meet a lot of people my age and create new friends.

One of my goals for this month is to make a new friend and I'm trying to figure out how i can achieve this.

I want this to be a real friend, not just someone i meet one night and add on facebook and that's really all it is, I want someone that i can friends with for years to come. A true friend.

I find myself looking at my facebook feeds and see all the people adding new friends weekly... But i havent added anyone new for a few months.
I get myself in a train of thought.. What are they doing that I'm not? Am i just not a friendly enough person? Why do they make friends so easily?

Then i start to wonder further... These people have over 300 'friends' on there facebook. Are they really friends? Have they physically met these people? Are they people that they went to high school with and was never friends with then but decided to add them anyway? Friends of friends of friends who you met one night out drinking but don't really know? People who they met whilst traveling years ago but have not spoken to since?

If you were to sit down and go through your entire list of friends, How many 'friends' are there who you could remove without making any difference to your facebook life? How many would not be missed from your feeds? How many who probably remove you if they bothered to go through there list?

Even if i went through my list i know i would find people that i know of school but haven't seen for 6+ years and having spoken to for almost as long, People who i dont ever hang out with, People that don't make a difference to my life by being my facebook friend.

I see people add new friends on a daily basis... It seems soo excessive to me, but maybe it's just because i don't do that myself. I don't accept everyone who asks me to be their 'friend'.

I want my list to be of actual friends... People that i plan to be friends with for a very long time.. I want people who I enjoy hearing from and reading updates about.

I've been told I should just bug people until they like me.
But that's not me... Bugging someone until they become my friend. If i have to bug them into it, then obviously it's not something they want and why should i put in so much of an effort?

I feel like to make more friends i need to change the person i am... But i don't want to do that either. There are plenty of people who like me for me so why be someone else to make friends who probably won't be real.

I've tried to organise group dinners and meetups in the past but they always seem to fail so I've given up on organising things. And I find when my partner and I do hang out with a group, they are more interested in talking to my partner and I'm on the side lines just watching.

So what do i need to do?
Do I need to be a different person?
Do I need to join a group of some kind?
Or do I just have to continue to be myself and accept that I have a small group of great friends and that's better than a huge number of facebook 'friends'? Pin It