Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Pretty Damn Proud

This isn't something that I would normally share with the world but I am pretty happy with myself right now and just wanted you all to know about it.

Over the last few years my weight has been going crazy. When BJ and I went traveling for 6 months I was able to lose a little bit of weight (Mainly due to the fact that I didn't eat so that he could) but not an amount I was proud of.

After coming back from that trip I quickly gain what I had lost back on... And then more!

I became quiet embarrassed by my body. I didn't think anything looked good on me, I didn't want anyone to see me naked... I didn't want to see me naked. I was ashamed about the way I looked. Which didn't help me, It just made things worse.

At the start of 2010 I got to the point that I thought 'I need to do something'... I was eating better then I ever had, which didn't make any difference... So I decided to stop drinking Coca Cola.
Now anyone who knows me knows that this wasn't an easy thing for me. When I was in high school I was drinking around 2Lt a day, I'd have it for breakfast. I was an addict. I'm nuts for Coke AND Coke products. Hell I traveled to the other side of the world so I could go to the World of Coca Cola in Atlanta, Georgia.

BJ and I with the Coca Cola Bear
Me and my World of Coca Cola Tickets

I had previously cut back to a can a day (mostly). I had to before we traveled overseas because I couldn't afford to keep up that addiction and travel the world.
So then this time I was a lot harder on myself. I wasn't allowed ANY coke.
I was soooo sick for the first couple of weeks. It was a really hard thing to do.

In November 2010 I joined a small training group and was doing a class once a week. This was a hard step for me. I feared people would be looking at me, judging me. I did a 6 week session before Christmas. It was the hardest things to do at the beginning... I felt like I was dying afterwards. But I toughed it out and stuck with it.
I continued with the training at the start of 2011 and was slowly losing small amounts of weight over time. I started feeling fitter but I still couldn't physically see any change in me.

In about March people started making comments. Asking if I'd lost weight, telling me I was looking good. I didn't believe them and just brushed it off. Always commented with an 'I hope so' instead of just a confident 'Thank you'.

At the beginning of June I went shopping with BJ. I hate clothes shopping because I could never find anything that I thought looked good, but I was desperate for some pants and so I would going to suck it up and try my best to find some.
This day, I bought a pair of jeans... I haven't worn jeans for at least 7 years. They fit, they looked good, I was shocked. I actually bought quiet a few items of clothing, which is rare for me.

I was nervous about wearing these jeans out in public. I mean BJ told me they looked good, but he'd say that if I was covered in rotting fish. He practically made me wear them that whole weekend and it took me awhile to actually feel comfortable in them but now I'm quiet happy to put them on.

So that was a HUGE step for me. To actually look in the mirror, at myself wearing jeans and think 'You know they actually don't look that bad'. I'm still shocked by this.

At the end of May I started a different type of class (Through the same group). It was a Hula Hooping class. I've already been pretty decent at hooping and thought it was something fun and different to try.
It was an 8 week session and it was a lot of fun. I learnt some fancy tricks and really enjoyed each week. It was a really full-on class which I'm sure most people wouldn't expect, But check out these mad bruises.
My left hand the morning
after hooping

Today I returned to do another 8 weeks of Hula Hooping.
When I got to the venue my instructor asked me if i wanted to do a weigh in and get measured. This is something we did every now and then and I hadn't done since mid May and I have to admit I was curious. I mean the comments have continued, even BJ's started commenting on the differences he was noticing.

I jumped on the scales and closed my eyes... I heard my instructor say 'Oh My God!' so I opened my eyes and looked down. I was gobsmacked. Since my last way in about 10 weeks prior, I'd lost over 9kg.


I didn't know what to say. I don't quiet know how it happened. But reality kind of kicked and and finally I could see that I have actually changed. My waist is smaller. My legs and arms are thinner. I've lost a couple of chins. (Unfortunately lost some off the boobs too.)

Then my instructor measured me. Added it all up and 'Wow!'.... 27 cm's in total.
I am amazed.

She told me how great that was but then it just didn't sink in. I went and sat down and of course messaged BJ and tweeted but didn't give anyone any details. I did the class (which was exhausting after 2 weeks off) and the whole time I just kept thinking about it. When I was driving home i decided I wanted to blog about it and share it as I'm pretty FUCKEN proud of myself right now.

It's been a LONG road with lot's of downhills but finally I'm seeing the light at the end and I can go to bed with a smile on my face tonight knowing that I couldn't probably get out that bag of clothes that no longer fitted me and I wouldn't have to squeeze myself into them, they'd probably fit now.

This blog is very long winded but I wanted to share my story. I know there are a lot of people out there who struggle with losing weight and I just wanted to give them some hope that it CAN and WILL happen if you just stick to it.


My excited face because I haven't fitted
into this jumper for years

Me in my jeans - Doesn't really show you much
but it's the only one I have
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  1. you should be so proud, megan! it's really hard to stick with a weight loss program (especially if you're sensitive to emotional eating) and though i never thought you needed to lose weight, you do look great! i think you're rocking those jeans hard and am so happy that you feel more comfortable in your own skin now. that's what really matters. <3

  2. Looking GOOD, girl!!! Love that "rotting fish" line - that's love. Way to go. Keep it up. Er, down. ;)

  3. What a great thing to conquer something that is so easy to give up - and tough to achieve. you are an inspiration to people like me that have fallen off the fitness wagon. Maybe I need to find a group like you did.

    also, love the jeans !

  4. You write beautifully. Your honesty and fearlessness in the face of this, at times, overwhelming challenge is awesome. To me, everyone has a 'something' ; mine is living in Strokesville day in and day out. But it is no more of a struggle than your day to day battle. The trick is courage to face it and take those steps forward, dust yourself off after the falls and get back up again. Bravo Fish Girl!!

  5. Megan - I'm so proud of you! Not proud about the weight you've lost (I mean, that's good, don't get me wrong). But mostly I'm proud that you are becoming more confident and are sharing this experience with us. You deserve to feel great - and you look great, by the way. :)


  6. Amazing!!! I've had issues with my weight for as long as I can remember. It's not easy to get habits under control and I struggle with that on a daily basis. Your story is incredibly inspiring. So much more than you even know. Thank you so much for sharing your success with us!

  7. So glad to hear the update and glad you are proud. Well deserved.

  8. I'm so happy for you. And jealous.

  9. Wow Megan, great post and what a awesome effort on your part. Proud of you...

    Congratz and keep at it :) Love from Holland

  10. You rock!!! That's awesome!!! I'm very proud of you!! Big big hug!!!