Duck Face

"A term used to describe the face made if you push your lips together in a combination of a pout and a pucker, giving the impression you have larger cheekbones and bigger lips."

I'm SO over seeing the 'duck face' every time I check my Facebook or Instagram. I seriously don't know what is wrong with people. Pulling that face for photos does NOT make you look more attractive. It makes you look fucking stupid. I swear, I've never even seen some of these people smile. It's like they think if they ever posted a nice, natural photo taken of themselves on the Internet it would be the end of the world.

So Instead, they always make sure that in every photo of them, their lips are pressed so they look as if someones shoved something in the wrong place that caused them to clench up.

Is this another thing that Celebrities started and everyone wants to do because they want to be just like them?

I blame Marilyn Monroe. She started this!!!

I'm sick of having my feeds filled with these shit faces. Can you all just become those people that only post photos of their pets?

If you really feel the need to pull that face for every photo, maybe you should save up for some Botox injections and then you'd never have to force a 'duck face' because you'll look like a duck 24/7. But then expect me to 'Quack' at you every time I see you.

I know too many people who do this face and think it's OK.... It's NOT!!
The only time I will accept any form of 'duckface' is if it's captioned with 'Blue Steel'

If you don't see enough 'duck face; on your social networking sites then you can go to  http://antiduckface.com/ and enjoy the 'sexy' photos these disgusting people post online.

(Do they not realise that once it's on the Internet, it's there for life???)

xx
Smorgy
PS: Just wait till i do my vent about Instagram and the people who are always attempting to be 'artistic' when they post photos of SOMEONE ELSE'S ART... What the fuck people?!

QUACK!!

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Fork This 33 - Spider Attack!!!

On Saturday whilst out driving a huntsman (A Large UGLY spider) appeared on the windscreen.

During my freak out I filmed what happened because I'll do anything for our viewers... I HATE spiders and did not handle the situation very well as you can tell by my shrieking.

Here's the episode:

Fork This 33 - Spider Attack! from BJ Carter on Vimeo.


BJ had to get out and search the outside of the car before I'd even think about opening my door. And when i finally decided to get out, It was a sprint out the door.

When he searched it he found nothing and we assumed it had blown/fallen off the car... That however was not the case.

Today I was unloading my car which was full of boxes of BJ's stuff ready for the move. I finished emptying the boot and was about to close the door when there it was!
That hairy fucker was hiding behind the boot lift mechanism and he crawled out, spread his legs and stared at me... I called for my sisters assistance in killed the bastard.

My sister grabbed a broom because my strict rule was 'Dont hurt my car... Don't splat guts everywhere!'

As she went for it, he run up on the roof, down the side of the car and underneath... I've never seen a spider move that fast. FUCK!

So I decided the only way I was going to get in my car the next day for work was if i got out the high pressured hose and sprayed the shit out of my car... I kept telling myself 'I WILL spray it away and everything will be fine.'

My sister kept and eye out for it and continued to inform me she hadn't seen it. I reminded her 'It's GONE!! I've washed it away!' I had to believe it.

Once I'd gone over the whole car (Twice) I don't know why but i decided to open the boot again... And guess who was in there... That's fast 'Speedy Gonzales' fucker must have run right around the whole car to get back in there. And this time, I was not letting him get away.

My sister flicked him off the car and onto the driveway and then I sprayed the bastard... And I continued to spray him. To the point they he blew away.

Some people may think this is cruel but after the day I'd had, Finding that spider in my car was the cherry on top. And getting him out of my car... Well that me throwing the cherry in the bin and eating the big bowl of ice cream. (I hate cherries too).

VICTORY!!!

(I may have squirted water up in the air as if i was firing a gun in excitement)

 It's a story to tell the kids.

xx

Smorgy

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