I often make myself feel bad
about not taking Audrey out to the park or sitting on the floor for ages
playing with her until I remind myself that I work full time... weather Audrey
is home or at Child Care.
Audrey currently goes to Child Care one day a week but I work EVERY day.
I took about 6 days off when
Audrey was born. But if you ask BJ I didn’t even take that long because I
still checked emails and took calls.
I am lucky enough to be able
to work from home but it does have its disadvantages. I am expected to be able
to do things at the drop of a hat and because there is always work to do I
never really give myself a break. If Audrey’s napping I’m working, she’s wake I’m
working, BJ goes out one night I’m working.
I don’t feel bad about
working. I am providing for my family and that is important to me.
Even if the money weren’t needed I would still want to work because I don’t
want to be a ‘stay at home’ mum. I don’t want the title of ‘Audrey’s mum’ to be
the only thing that defines me.
I don’t have anything
against stay at home mums. That’s just not for me.
But when I see on social
media people having lunch at the park with their kids I do have those moments
where I feel a little guilty. Like I should be doing more, I should be trying
harder. But again I remind myself that my situation is different and that’s ok.
I also remind myself that
Audrey is not missing out, she is not deprived of anything. She is loved and looked after. Plus she is a happy kid. I work this hard for her. To give her the best I possibly can.
And from me working she has learnt to be very independent and that makes me
happy.
She is not sitting watching
a screen all day, she is not in any devices like a jolly jumpers while I work.
She is playing with her toys and learning. Being independent has helped this
kid learn some amazing things. If there is a milestone to hit, she’s done it...
and in most cases, months earlier then expected.
We have had a routine since
day one. It was necessary for me to be able to get all my work done around
Audrey’s needs. Specific nap, bottle, meal and bath times. I can plan my whole
week because I know that between ‘these times’ Audrey will be napping and
between ‘these times’ she needs to be awake so that she will go down without
any issues at bedtime.
Audrey is not one to sleep
in the car or pram these days so to make life easier, I avoid putting us in
situations where she’s going to miss a nap.
Though our routine has had
to change several times as Audrey’s grown, we work hard to figure out the what
works best for Audrey with her new routine and then we stick to it because
that’s how this household runs smoothly and how we keep everyone happy.
We are reaching the point
where Audrey is going to transition to one nap a day and honestly I’m not ready
for the transitioning part of this change but I know that once we get her into
a routine she will do great.
I guess I just wanted to
write this to remind myself that I’m doing an ok job.
Scratch that… I’m doing
a great fucking job!!
And so are all the other
working mums out there!! We all deserve a night out! (Kid free of course)
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| We did do some drawing time this week... It's not a trip to the park but it's something |
